There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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