they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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