two words...techno handjob
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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