just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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