2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
