is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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