i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
