sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
