I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i drank out of a bidet.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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