the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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