If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
