drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
