just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
