why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
