Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
