I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
