I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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