i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
