Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
