i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
