The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
