Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
