The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
