Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
