there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
