Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
