is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize