Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
