You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
