At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
