Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
