Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
