That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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