Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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