Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
