I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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