i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
