Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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