She's JV to your varsity
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
