he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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