Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
