I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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