ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
