R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
whose parrot is this?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
