So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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