i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
