Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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