when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
