this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Its about making memories worth repressing
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
