was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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