I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
