I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
it's like iHOP with fire
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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