Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
